at war with love....

Well it is coming up on mine and Kelli's one year anniversary. Two more days.

 We got matching tattoos. To most they look like plain old dragonfly's. To us they symbolize a fresh start, a commitment to our love and devotion. They are also a reminder of the vows we took. So that we may never forget what we promised each other almost a year ago. I will be glad to see 2014 in I am hoping it is better then 2013 has been. My dad Just got out of the hospital in England. He has been very sick.The substandard care he received is standard in England according to what my mother saw and other people in the country. I so wanted to jump on a plan fly to England and ask them all if they are daft cows!!! Now that my dad is back on the narrow boat that they call home he is on the mend. Mom of course is taking great care of him and finally getting

to take care of he self again. Below is a picture of my parents when they were in the states for the wedding.


     This first year of marriage has been tough for Kelli and I. Our time apart proved to both of us that we belong with each other. It was a hard lesson to learn and I lost a very good friend. But some times the story has a twist in the plot or they kill off your favorite charter. You keep going you keep reading the story because your not at the end yet. Kelli and I still have many pages of out story to write. Right now we are hunkering down trying to save money to move to Eugene next October. She is doing great at her internship.  They have hired her on a permanent basis. We were hoping that once she is provided with insurance it could mean  job change for me. That might not be the case. Their policy on insurance is estimated by the hours you work so until we figure it out I am staying put in my current job.

                        As a stress reviler I still make jewelry and other things to help fuel and nurture the creative side of me that feels like it is slowly being smothered to death. I have been making Goddess "rosaries" working with a lot more real stone too. I find listening to music and creating some how feeds my soul. I wish so much so that I could make my living doing what I love to do.... Below are some of my new pieces.

     These are just a few of the many pieces I have on sale at etsy.com tripplemoondesigns If you are interested I also do custom orders and have cheap shipping costs to other countries.

Back trackin a bit.

So I moved out of my Home in Portland into a home in Vancouver with my partner. I was on cloud nine! I had a job I loved, a partner I loved, a home, and I was rebuilding my life. Things went well for a while... Lady H had brain cancer. I knew this when I entered into a relationship with her. I know some of you are asking why would I do it....? Looking back I loved her, and I loved to be needed. We lived happily but eventually it all got to be too much. I began to be her care provider rather then her partner. We stopped being intimate, and she withdrew from me not wanting me to get hurt. I dove even deeper into work as a way to cope with everything I was not willing to look at. This made me great at my job but not such a good partner. Rab was getting ready to turn 29 so of course we must go to the bar and drink copious amounts of booze to celebrate her being here! We started a bit early in the day with a designated driver all worked out the party was in full swing by the time we hit the E room. Rabs boss,wife, and his sister would be joining us as well as Rabs new girlfriend C. The drinks were flowing and we were having a grand time. Then the most amazingly hot butch walked into the bar.... And she was heading for our table. It was her bosses sister.. I was immediately attracted. She was shy, and intelligent, made me laugh, made me feel like something was alive in side of me. I had a partner so the evening was kept to small talk, some light flirting and a whole lot of thoughts going through my mind. I will admit I did leave  the bar with her number. Rab had puked and was now requesting Jack in the box so it was time to bid the evening farewell. We went back to her house and crashed I woke up the next morning thinking I needed to seriously look at my life. If I have a partner I should not be attracted to other women, let alone leaving the bar with their number. What was I thinking? I was not thinking I was trying to yet again block out every thing that had happened over the past three years. My mom getting sick with cancer, dropping out of school to take care of her, leaving my family in Eugene, moving to Portland, taking on a partner with terminal brain cancer, moving up in my company to a management position. I was searching for something I just was not sure what it was...... I drove back to Vancouver that afternoon with thoughts racing through my head... where was my life going?

The only constant in life is change......

So sitting in my new room in my shared house I keep thinking about change. My life has not taken me where I thought it would by the time I was 28. I remember being a little kid and telling my mother I love you so much mommy I am going to live with you until I am thirty....... Well that is not the path that this life has taken me on. I left home long before I was thirty. I was chomping at the bit to become an adult... I wanted all it's freedoms. I was such an all or nothing person. I got my early adult hood as wished but alas it was filled with more rules and deadlines, bills, and other adult worries. The pit falls of adult hood that I never knew. My mother did a good job of hiding those aspects of life from me. I have managed to traverse the "adult" things that have been thrown my way. I have managed to build my life some times lost and wandering and others direct on the path I was walking. I knew where I was going and what I was going to do. Until about three years ago when my mother got sick with cancer. The realization of her mortality rocked my carefully built adult world. I was reduced to a crying snotty child wanting nothing more then the simplicity of childhood. I knew it would be me who went home to take care of her. I can not put into words the emotions behind going home to take care of your mother and realizing that when you come back to your carefully crafted adult life it could be for ever changed. I went home with my beat the crap out of cancer gear. When I first saw my mother my hero she looked so small and fragile. What happened to the strong never back down, crazy beautiful, five foot nothing amazon who had raised me? I numbed my self out to the fear and the pain. I had a plan we were going to kick the crap out of cancer. My mother chose alternative therapies to fight cancer. It involved a lot of organic juices. Thus I was dubbed by my mother the juice bitch. Our sense of humor tends to be a little bent and on the dark side but it works for us.Three months of juice, special soup and a lot of  laughter and my mother appeared to be on the road to recovery..... I was free to return to my adult world but my bearings had been all re arranged where was this path in life going to take me next....?